Pros and Cons
by tiff098765
Summary: Rick gets Kate to help make a pros/cons list of why they should or shouldn't date. Misunderstandings ensue. Then fluff. Fluff to make you happy.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: **The idea for this first chapter came from The Danish Writer's "Drabbles." She's a 14 year old in Denmark who graciously gave me permission to take her idea and run with it. Thanks, Danish Writer!_

* * *

><p><strong>Pros and Cons<strong>

**Ch. 1**

Beckett looked at her paper. She was so adept at shutting him down, and so sure that they shouldn't date, that she had accepted his challenge. This was stupid. He had said _he_ would write down all the reasons they should _not_ date if _she_ would write down why they _should_.

When he posed the challenge, she could only think of reasons they would crash and burn quickly, so she was certain his list would end up much longer than hers. It seemed like an easy way to get him to quit asking so they could get back to work. He imposed a five minute time limit and began writing immediately. He hadn't stopped.

She began writing slowly, making herself try, since obviously he was trying. "Great smile." She fidgited for a second. "Great dad." She smiled. "Always has my back."

The ideas started coming a little quicker. "Learned how I like my coffee just by watching." "Loyal." "Kind." "Generous." "Tender." "Best friend." "Good to his mom." "Would give me anything I wanted." "Would never hurt me on purpose."

She snuck a peek at him. He was biting his tongue while trying to think of more reasons why they shouldn't go for it. She smiled and kept writing.

"He's adorable." "So strong." "So smart." "Fiercely protective." "Hates to see me upset." "Not pretentious." "Takes care of me." "Makes me feel safe." "Makes me have fun."

His phone beeped that the timer he'd set had run out.

She looked up. He was grinning. Yeah, no. That wasn't supposed to be how he looked after listing all the reasons to _not_ be with her.

She looked back at her list. These were all simply good things about _him_, not necessarily about the potential _them_.

"This is stupid." She crumpled her paper and threw it in the trash can then walked off to find something to busy herself with. She knew without looking that he was pouting.

He tried to shake it off. Why did he keep trying? She wouldn't even look at him. He watched her go into the ladies room.

Then curiosity got the best of him. He needed to see what she wrote. He wanted her to see what he wrote. But he didn't want to argue about it.

So he placed his list on the center of her desk. He pulled her list out of the trash. And he left.

xox

She washed her hands even though she hadn't used the toilet. She just needed an excuse to be in there. She couldn't be next to him right then. They were best friends, partners. She couldn't keep thinking all those things about him. No matter how much she wanted to. No matter how many nights she'd fallen asleep trying to push away the same thoughts. No matter how many times she'd failed and fallen asleep smiling. No matter how many days those thoughts would sneak up on her, one at a time, just from looking his way. It would blow up in their faces.

But listing them all out was a little overwhelming. All those things that are just _him_, plus a few more that she thought but didn't have time to write before the phone beeped. Like "Amazing kisser." Yeah, there was that one time. She looked in the mirror and told herself to get it together. Act like it didn't happen, and go back to work. Denial always works best with him. Except when it doesn't.

When she returned, she was surprised to see his seat empty. She looked around the bullpen and in the breakroom. He was gone.

She flopped in her chair, hoping her rejection didn't wound him too bad. She blew out a long exhale then went back to her paperwork.

But it had been moved off to the side of the desk, stacked neatly. And in the center of the desk was his half of the sheet of paper she had ripped down the middle for them to write their lists.

She placed one hand over her eyes, spreading it to put pressure on her temples with her thumb and middle finger. Did she really want to read this list?

She couldn't stop herself.

"Cons. She's a control freak. I'd annoy her too much. I'd spoil her rotten. She doesn't like me to pay for things. I'd move too fast, wanting forever. She'd be scared by that. She could crush me completely. She'd never risk her heart like this. Knowing what she's really like, outside of my fantasies, would be too distracting. I'd never get any work done. I'd make her lose control in every way I could think of. She's not ready for that. And she'd never get any work done, either. Our fights could be ugly. I don't deserve her. She's too extraordinary to settle for me. If it ended, I'd never find anyone else who makes me feel like she does. I'd probably give up trying."

Her heart pounded. Surely he'd planned this. That was too deep, too revealing, and he looked too happy after writing it for it to have not been premeditated. But… so what?

She looked in the trash to review what she'd written. It wasn't there.

_So he's reading my list. My simple list about what I love about him._

She re-read his list. _He knows me too well._ She focused on key words about her. _Control freak, scared, would never risk her heart, not ready. Yep, he's got me pegged. _

There were implications. _Lose control. Never get work done. Fights… which would lead to making up._ She smiled at those thoughts. She was sure that part would be good. She could add "Sensual," "Passionate," and "Sexy," to her list.

But there were other words she didn't believe. _Wanting forever. Could crush me. Fantasies. I don't deserve her. Too extraordinary to settle for me. Never find anyone else who makes me feel like she does. Probably give up trying._

He couldn't be serious, could he? He's the most perfect man she'd ever met. Annoying at times, but that was part of his charm. He had no business wanting her. He could find women much more worthy than she. She wasn't even close to being in his league… they weren't even in the same sport. If she fell for him, she'd be ruined for anyone else. There would be no coming back.

She read it again. _What am I supposed to do with this?_

It wouldn't do for one of the boys to notice this. She folded his list to slide it into her pocket. And when she removed the torn paper from her desk, she found a yellow Post-it underneath, with his handwriting. "But it would be worth it."

**x**

_Please leave me a review! I'm addicted to them! They're like soft breezes on a warm day._

_I've got 5 chapters of this written already. I'll post a new chapter every day._


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

She heard the crash bar on the heavy metal door and a cell phone chime at the same time, almost immediately followed by Esposito's voice, "Hell yeah." Then Ryan's phone chimed, and he said, "Sweet. Beckett, you in?" Whatever they just got texted, they thought she already knew about it. They looked at her expectantly.

"Uh, what?" She acted like she was looking up from her paperwork.

"Movie night at Castle's." They all knew that meant giant screen projector, theater quality surround sound, seemingly endless snacks, and open bar.

"Um. No, girls' night out. Sorry." She was extremely aware that her phone hadn't chimed with an invitation. Must be a guys' night. He wouldn't exclude her for any other reason, would he?

The boys' phones chimed again, one right after the other. Esposito looked at Beckett oddly. "Not with our girls. He says they're invited, too. Besides, Lanie and I were already planning on doing something tonight. …So… who's the girls' night with?"

Crap. She glanced at her phone to make sure it was on. "Madison." Hopefully her face didn't show that she was scrambling for a name.

The boys cut their eyes at each other, questioning Beckett's answer, but said nothing. They went to their desk and grabbed some files. Once Beckett looked like she was concentrating on her work, Ryan whispered, "Dude, did Castle not invite her?"

"I don't know, bro. Doesn't look like it." They both shook their heads at how dumb their friends could be.

xox

Castle tried to time it just right. As he climbed into a taxi, he saw Ryan and Esposito walking into the precinct. He counted out how long it took to get to the elevator, then how long the ride up would be. But what if they took the stairs? He waited a little more to make sure they were in the bullpen. He texted their invitations.

_Maybe this is a bad idea_. He hoped it didn't backfire. _Because the pros and cons list idea worked so brilliantly_, he thought sarcastically. He figured they'd had time to ask Beckett and she'd have an excuse. Lanie would be the most likely excuse. Another text, "The girls are welcome!"

_And now_ _I wait. _He opened up to her and wrote how he felt. She knew there would be a group party at his place tonight. The ball was in her court. How would she play this?

He had to plan possible scenarios.

Scenario 1) She loved his list. The plan was brilliant, and it worked. She's confused about why she didn't get invited and calls or texts him in a few minutes happily saying she wants to come, too.

Solution 1) Laugh and say, "Of course!" Kiss her senseless when she arrives, no matter who is watching.

_Eh, not likely._

Scenario 2) She loved his list. But it confused her because she didn't think his feelings were that strong. She thinks he's waiting on her to move next, so she calls or texts in a few minutes to ask if she can come, too.

Solution 2) Sweetly say, "Of course I want you to. I wasn't really sure if you'd want to, so I didn't want to put you in an awkward spot by asking if you didn't want to come. I hoped you would ask."

_Needs work, but more probable than number one._

Scenario 3) Whether she loved it or hated it, she's P.O'd that she wasn't invited, calls the first available girlfriend, goes out to a bar, and picks up a gorgeous guy. With her record he's an astronaut who is working on a cure for cancer in his spare time.

Solution 3) I'm screwed.

_Somehow, just as likely as number two._

_There's gotta be a number four somewhere in my mind._

_Maybe I should just invite her._

xox

She can't concentrate on her work. It's been twenty minutes, she's only filled out half of one form, and her phone still hasn't chimed. Ryan and Esposito keep sneaking curious looks and she's getting ticked about it.

She lets out an exasperated huff and picks up her phone.

_I should just call him. Ask if he's got plans tonight. No, he knows the boys would have already told me. I could ask if it's a boys only night, maybe he'll invite me. Maybe he's just messing with my head. This is another thing that should be on HIS list. Couldn't he just call if he wanted me? Does that mean he really doesn't want me there? Is he mad about how I ended his pro/con list challenge? Should I really just call Madi?_

She bit her lip and debated who to call. No, text. That would be simpler.

Her thumbs flew over the keypad. "Hey. Got plans tonight?" She hesitated, then pressed send.

xox

The longer he waited, the more nervous he got.

_This is really dumb. Just call her, you idiot. After that list, there's nothing to lose._

But he knew there was. By not knowing how she was reacting to his list of why they shouldn't be together, he could still hope. Hope that she loved it, and was trying to wrap her head around it. Or she didn't believe it, but wanted to. That she felt the same way about him.

But once they talked about it, she could tell him he was wrong. It wasn't mutual. He'd written a beautiful fantasy in his head, but that's all it was. Fantasy.

Who was he kidding? They never talk about anything like this. They'd have movie night with or without her, and she'd act like she'd never even seen his list. They'd work another case tomorrow, and it would be the same as yesterday.

xox

She got a text back from Madi a minute later, "Hot date. You?"

_Crap. I need more friends_. _Might as well answer._ "Nothing. Movie night at Castle's. Wasn't invited. Trying to find an excuse why I'm not going."

Her phone rang. As soon as she answered, Madi's voice shot through the speaker, "What is _that_ supposed to mean, Becks?"

"Hang on." Beckett went into the ladies room and checked under the stall doors for feet. Sure she was alone, she told Madi about the challenge, how she ended it, and how he left his list on her desk. "Madi, his list was really good."

Her friend was confused. "You claim you don't want to date Rick. You threw away the list of why you should date. He wrote a great list of why you should not. Then he didn't ask you out. I don't see where your problem is."

Kate sighed. She was glad they had reconnected, because she really needed to figure this out fast. "Except he took my list out of the trash. And it was full of things about him. Really good things. Things I really love about him. And his list, well, let me read it to you."

She pulled it out of her pocket and read: " 'Cons. She's a control freak. I'd annoy her too much. I'd spoil her rotten. She doesn't like me to pay for things. I'd move too fast, wanting forever. She'd be scared by that. She could crush me completely. She'd never risk her heart like this. Knowing what she's really like, outside of my fantasies, would be too distracting. I'd never get any work done. I'd make her lose control in every way I could think of. She's not ready for that. And she'd never get any work done, either. Our fights could be ugly. I don't deserve her. She's too extraordinary to settle for me. If it ended, I'd never find anyone else who makes me feel like she does. I'd probably give up trying.' Then under the list, there was a post-it that said, 'But it would be worth it.'"

"OH MY GOSH, BECKS! HE'S TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU! Why are you not on top of him right now? Or under him? And what about the movie night you're not going to?"

Kate had to laugh at that. This is why they shouldn't date. They never made any sense.


	3. Chapter 3

**Pros and Cons**

_**Previously: **After writing their Pros/Cons lists, Castle left Kate to mull it all over alone. He invites everyone over to the loft, making sure she knows about it. But he didn't specifically invite her because he wants her to make the next move. (Smart people can act stupid, too.) Kate calls Madi to see if they can go out on the town, but Madi tells her Castle loves her & asks why Kate's not on top of or underneath Castle at that moment, and asks why she's not going to the movie party._

**3**

It had been 40 minutes. She wasn't going to call. _Great job, brainiac_. Rick was staring into his fridge, trying to decide what to serve, but he had no idea of what he was looking at. He just knew his phone still wasn't ringing. _Maybe she knows she's always welcome here. Maybe she'll just come. God, this was such a bad idea. But pressuring her right now would be bad, especially after everything I wrote. She'll make the next move when she decides she's ready._

xox

Kate decided to ignore the on top of/ under him part of Madi's question and just answer her question about the movie night. "I don't know. See, that's the thing. He invited all our friends, but not me. So either he expects me to _throw_ myself at him, or he's upset that I didn't let him finish his _head game_ and doesn't want me there."

"Yeah, _that's_ it. He leaves that note that opens him up to having his heart squashed, but then he _doesn't_ want to invite you to snuggle in front of a movie a few minutes later. Makes _perfect _sense. Just call him. Go over there. Take an overnight bag. Call me in the morning with details."

Kate was grinning and decided to switch gears. "Speaking of overnight… tell me about your hot date."

She got the details about Madi's new guy and let her go.

The boys saw her finally coming out of the ladies' room with a smile, slipping her pone back into her jacket pocket. It had been 20 minutes since they saw her sneak in there with her phone to her ear.

"Guess she and Castle worked out whatever was bugging them." Ryan nudged his partner.

"Good. It would be weird for us to have our chicas there, and him to be alone instead of trying to invade Beckett's personal space."

Esposito texted Lanie. "all's good in the caskettverse. going to castles for movie night"

Lanie saw her phone beep, read it and smiled. But she had two more bodies after this one and wanted to finish in time to actually make it to the movie. So she didn't respond, just like she didn't respond to his earlier texts about trouble in the Caskettverse. She'd get a break, soon, she hoped, and would be able to talk to Kate herself. _'Caskettverse'… ha. Served them right for dubbing her and her man 'Esplanie.'_

When she was finally done with the body, she scrubbed her hands and started thinking about tonight. She started by sending a text to Castle, knowing he'd turn down her offer: "excited about tonight. glad kates coming. can we bring something?"

She got his reply and pulled the next body onto the table.

xox

Castle had finally managed to write a grocery list when his phone beeped. His hopes soared thinking it might be from her, were dashed when he saw Lanie's name on the screen, and soared again when he read her text. So Kate hadn't called him, but she'd told Lanie she was coming.

He breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't know what she was thinking or feeling until that text from Lanie. He hadn't even had the courage to read her list. So he gingerly perched on a barstool, as though he needed to be ready to escape, and pulled the crumpled paper from his pocket.

He read, "Great smile. Great dad. Always has my back. Learned how I like my coffee just by watching. Loyal. Kind. Generous. Tender. Best friend. Good to his mom. Would give me anything I wanted. Would never hurt me on purpose. He's adorable. So strong. So smart. Fiercely protective. Hates to see me upset. Not pretentious. Takes care of me. Makes me feel safe. Makes me have fun."

_Wow._ _So that's what she thinks of me?_ A huge grin spread across his face. _Bam! said the lady!_

Being male, he didn't disagree with anything on her list.

He did a happy dance around his kitchen then went about the rest of his preparations with a broad smile.

xox

Kate simply went back to her paperwork after getting off the phone with Madi. She was distracted for the rest of the day thinking about her list of Pros and his list of Cons and Madi telling her to basically go jump his bones. _The ridiculousness of that idea._ She didn't even notice that she was smiling, and a couple of times during the day, she even played with her hair.

But the further into the day it got, the more ridiculous it seemed. He had left. He didn't try to talk to her about it. What if he'd read her list and thought it was silly. Or lame.

He still hadn't called. By now, Lanie had surely offered to bring something, and he would have asked about Kate, and Lanie wouldn't have an answer because of the bodies stacked up, unless Esposito had told her about her going out with Madi…. Either way, he would know by now that nobody expected her to be there.

And he still didn't call. She was getting a little ticked.

Why'd he always have to be so dang passive? Would it really be so hard for him to pick up the phone and say, "Hey. Are you coming over tonight? I'd really like you to." That was how normal dates happened. Why couldn't they be normal?

She finished her paperwork and grabbed her keys. "See ya later, guys."

xox

By the time Beckett got home, she'd totally lost that giddy feeling she'd gotten from Madi's advice. She didn't want to go bar-hopping or anything, but she wasn't going to just fall into Castle's arms just because he'd played a game that he'd planned his answers to, caught her by surprise, and messed with her head and her heart. _That's not how things work around here. He needs to man up and call. Ask me out like a normal person._

She stripped off her work clothes and briefly considered going out to dance by herself. She wouldn't stay alone for long. She wouldn't bring a strange guy home, of course, but she could dance with a few. But she thought of that sweet, terrifying, wonderful list in her jacket pocket and grabbed a pair of old, soft jeans and a tee shirt for a night of TV.

And he still didn't call. Lanie didn't even call.

She wondered what he had said to her friend that stopped her from calling. And she couldn't call Lanie to ask, because she knew she'd end up being the one receiving the third degree.

_This is stupid. Hmm, I thought that too many times today._

She poured a glass of tea and grabbed the pack of strawberries and Ziploc of deli-sliced turkey from her fridge and began flipping through channels. She finally settled on some show she really didn't care about but was interesting enough to distract her from where she was not.

xox

Castle finished spreading the array of snacks along the kitchen island. He made sure to get all of Kate's favorite comfort foods - just another way to show how much he pays attention to the little things about her. Looking it all over, with the list she had written running through his mind and keeping a smile on his face, he was satisfied that she'd notice and finally (hopefully) be ready for the next step.

xox

The party was getting started at the loft. Ryan was being flirty with Jenny just to make her squirm. She still felt like an outsider in this group, so his PDA was embarrassing. But she really appreciated how they always included her, trying to make her feel like she was part of the family. Esposito was hanging on Lanie, whispering things in her ear that made her slap him then give him a saucy look. Castle watched it all with plenty of witty running commentary.

But he was beginning to get nervous. _She isn't here yet. Could she have changed her mind? Could she have gotten in an accident on the way? Maybe I should just call and check on her._

"Hey, Castle! Can Jenny get a tour of the loft?"

Everyone else had been there before, but he'd never offered a tour of the whole place, so all four guests followed him room to room. Castle's bedroom had a view, so they walked through it to the windows instead of just looking in from the doorway. The girls took a peek at the fabulous master bath, ooh'd and aah'd, then followed the boys out.

But something caught Lanie's eye as she passed his dresser. A half-sheet of paper with Kate's handwriting poking out from under a book. She really couldn't help herself. She quickly moved the book and read the list in about 6 seconds flat. Bug-eyed, she quietly replaced the book and pulled out her phone, walking into the hall.

x

x

_A/N: Now that they've got themselves in a perfect mess, how about some resolution tomorrow? And fluff. I know you want it._

_Please leave me a review. I'm addicted to them. They're like a hot bath when you've got sore muscles._


	4. Chapter 4

**Pros and Cons**

_**Previously:**__ Party's starting without Kate. Castle thinks she is planning to come. Lanie finds Kate's list of Pros on Castle's dresser._

_**4**_

Kate's phone chirped. "Where the hell are you?" came the text from Lanie.

Yeah, um, no. She didn't want to explain herself right now. She ignored the text.

xox

Castle finished leading the loft tour and everyone headed back to the living area where there was food, drinks, and music.

Lanie caught him by the back of his shirt and pulled him into his bedroom after the others had passed by.

"Explain."

"You gotta give me more than that, Lanie. Explain what?"

"Why is this here-" she pulled Kate's list from under the book, "-but Kate isn't. And she's not answering her text message."

"Uh…" Castle gave her a look that was part "why were you snooping in my room?" and part "oh crap, what's going on?"

"Don't look at me like that, Castle. You know I butt in. It's part of my charm. So tell me about this list and what you did to mess it up."

"I didn't do anything! I challenged her to write the reasons why we should date. And I wrote why we shouldn't-"

"You did what?" She glared at him like he was an idiot.

"I wrote a really good list of how she could break my heart and how much more distracted we'd be if we were all in. It was supposed to show her that she wasn't the only one risking something, and that it would be worth it."

Lanie's face thawed as she realized what he meant. "Oh. So where is she?"

"I was wondering the same thing."

"Well, did she say what time she was coming?"

"Uh, I don't know. I didn't actually talk to her about it, just the guys. I told her my feelings - you know how hard that was to do? The ball was in her court. You were the one that told me she was coming."

Lanie was dumbfounded. "You didn't invite her? I swear you can be so stupid for a smart guy. Javi told me you two worked out whatever was going on earlier today. … JAVIER!"

She stormed the kitchen, scaring her boyfriend. "What made you tell me Kate was coming tonight?"

"I didn't say she was coming. I just said it looked like there was trouble brewing," he gave Castle an apologetic shrug, "then I said it looked like they'd worked it out. She spent twenty minutes on the phone in the restroom, and came out all happy."

Now Castle was really confused. "But I didn't talk to her on the phone after I left."

Ryan had been watching with a bemused expression. He offered up the only detail he had. "She said she was having a girls' night out with Madison, but it sounded like she was making it up."

A look of fear and rejection came over Castle's face. "So, either she has a date she didn't want to tell you about, or she _is_ going out with Madison but didn't want you to know what they were doing." _And she'll get swept off her feet by the cancer-curing gorgeous astronaut._

Lanie rolled her eyes. _You_ _idiot_. "Or she just didn't want to admit that _you didn't invite her_. After that list, she's _not_ out with someone else." She shook her head at his stupidity.

Ryan and Esposito looked at each other, silently asking, "What list?"

"Oh. …So, um, your sure she's not out, somewhere…" Castle didn't want to finish that question. He'd rather look dumb than incredibly insecure.

She pushed Castle toward the door. "Go pick her up and bring her here. We'll eat your food and drink your booze while you're gone."

As soon as the door shut behind him, he heard Esposito's muffled voice, then heard everyone else break out in laughter.

xox

Kate rummaged through her cabinets; the few strawberries and slices of turkey weren't enough to fill her up. She was contemplating eating the stale Cheetos she found when she heard a light knock at the door.

"What are you doing here, Castle?" She left him in the open doorway and turned back to the kitchen. He wasn't sure if he should invite himself in or stay at the door.

"Uh, I thought you were coming to the loft."

He was cute when he was unsure of himself, but she made herself keep a blank expression.

"Well, Castle. You didn't invite me to the loft. You invited Ryan. You invited Esposito. You invited their girlfriends. But you left me with a list of why we shouldn't date, then you very specifically did _not_ invite _me._"

"I just thought…" he sighed and let himself into her apartment, closing the door and joining her in the kitchen, "I thought you'd know I wanted you there. That either you'd call me, or you'd just know."

"Oh, I see. I'm supposed to know what you _don't_ say. What you keep inside your head, but you don't actually say. To me."

"Come on, Kate. That's not fair. I thought that list was a pretty good way to say what I've been thinking. And I rather appreciated your list, too." His lips turned upward with that last part.

_He liked my list? Straight face, Kate. Come on. _"I bet you did. Stroke your ego, did it?" _Why exactly am I antagonizing him?...So I know it's not a game to him? …Because I'm too chicken to just kiss him and go to his party? Kiss him? Where'd that come from?_

He stared at her, trying to figure out the confusion in her eyes and keep himself from being goaded into an argument. "Look, Kate. If you'd rather stay here alone with your stale snacks and bad TV than be with me and our friends watching a movie and having fun, it's your choice. But I came here because I want you there. I meant what I wrote on my list - you're not the only one risking their heart; and I think you know what you wrote - that I'd never hurt you on purpose - is true. No relationship is magic and double rainbows all the time, but we'd be good together. And I want to try it. You make me crazy, but I don't want to be with anyone else. Just you. But… if you don't think we're worth a chance, tell me. If you truly don't care about me, don't think I'm worth the risk, then tell me to go. If you can take a chance, just on tonight, just on a movie with our friends, then can you just _go get in the car_?"

Kate stared at him for a moment, blinked, then walked past him and headed to her bedroom. His heart sank as he watched her disappear through the door. He laid it all out there, and she walked away. He turned to leave, alone.

But she immediately came back out of her room, Nikes in hand. He hadn't asked for forever. He asked for tonight. And he came for her. He didn't give up when she got scared. He said what she'd been needing to hear for months; longer, if she was honest with herself. She felt a little shell-shocked. And embarrassed for complicating everything so much. She took in a shaky breath. _He came for her_.

Rick needed her to say something. He couldn't see her face as she knelt on the floor tying her shoes. But she was at least going to go with him. And she had complained that _he_ didn't say what was on _his_ mind. The woman was going to slowly drive him insane.

She saw him squirming and decided she could finally control her emotions enough to look him in the eye and talk to him without being all girly. She stood, stepped up to him, and placed both hands on his chest. "Thank you for coming, Rick." She started to turn, then stopped herself. "And you _are_ worth it." She kissed the corner of his mouth and walked out the door.

xox

On the ride back to his place, they actually did talk and figured out where the misunderstandings came from, mostly from misinterpretations by their friends, who passed on misinformation. They wondered what kind of crap they would get from Lanie for letting this little list and party business get so out of hand.

Except they didn't discuss the obvious; that they should have just been adults and picked up the phone themselves; that the blame lay squarely on their shoulders.

But it didn't seem to matter just then. They were on the same page, finally.

He couldn't hold it in any longer. "So you think I'm adorable? And strong?" His sexy smirk had her rolling her eyes.

"Mmm. You really think you could make me lose control?" She said it, sure that he could, but unwilling to let him know how easy that would be.

He grinned. "I know I could." He caught her eye with a look that made her completely believe him.

She bit her lip and smiled, turning away from him to try to hide the blush creeping up her neck. He knew exactly why she turned away and had to force himself to focus on driving instead of on what he wanted to do to her and what reactions she would have. And when she didn't turn to look at him again, but her hand tightened on her own leg for a second, he was sure she was imagining the same kinds of things.

xox

They could hear the music and laughter in the loft from the hallway and walked in on what looked to be big trouble in the making. Martha had come in and was telling stories about Rick's misadventures, and the group had clearly indulged in Rick's expensive alcohol supply.

"Well, Richard! Lovely for you two to join us for the party you abandoned. I take it you two have removed your heads from your respective rears?" Martha had definitely had more than a glass of wine.

Her comment had Castle shaking his head, Kate blushing, and everyone else trying to stifle laughter. Martha continued watching their entrance with a serious look. She placed her hands on Kate's shoulders, dramatically said, "Hello, dear, I am very pleased you came," nodded her head, and turned back to the liquor cabinet.

Kate looked to Rick, quietly questioning, "I take it everyone knows what's going on?"

"Lanie's involved. What do you think?"

"Richard, darling! Be a good host! Come get your fabulous girlfriend a drink!" Martha was being rather assuming. Lanie must have shared _everything_. Rick made a mental note to never again leave them with unlimited access to his alcohol.

"Mother-" He changed his mind. He was about to correct her, that Kate wasn't his girlfriend yet. Instead, he said, "I think I will. Wine or soda?"

Everyone noticed. Kate's mouth dropped open, and she quirked a questioning eyebrow, while everyone else was getting whiplash from watching the exchange. Nobody wanted to miss the look on her face after he said that.

Esposito was the first to venture a comment, "Yeah, what'll his girlfriend drink?" Lanie laughed out loud. Ryan mouthed, "Ooh, no." Jenny wasn't sure why it was such a big deal.

And Kate had a decision to make. Two, actually. She answered both with one word.

"Wine."

xox

With their friends so relaxed and enjoying themselves and affectionate towards their dates (mostly due to the high quality alcohol), Rick and Kate didn't feel so much like they were in a fishbowl. They were being watched, of course, but nobody tried to hide their amused observations like they normally would. They, in fact, exaggerated their thoughts.

When Rick placed his hand on Kate's lower back, Lanie told him it was inappropriate to try to grab her butt in front of everybody. When he wrapped his arm around her, Esposito told him not to start a makeout session. Ryan opened his mouth a few times, but Jenny elbowed him. He did manage to whine a loud "Eewww! They're gonna kiss!" when Rick whispered in Kate's ear.

When Rick offered her more wine, she declined. After the day they had, she figured that tonight would _not_ be a good night to lose control. Especially with an audience. A fairly drunk audience. _Of course, I'd probably get the nerve to do some of the things they're accusing us of doing._

While that little idea detoured her train of thought for a moment, she was afraid that she'd end up doing something she'd regret after the others went home if she drank too much.

Rick saw that Kate had stopped at one drink, so he did too. He saw her blush at their comments, but he also whispered a few things that made her blush even more.

As the movie got started, their friends gave them little peace. At least through the first half. After that, the three couples were comfortably settled in, snug with their dates, for the rest of the movie.

Being joked about in the open seemed to be better than being whispered about behind their backs. It made Rick and Kate relax and not worry about what their friends thought. If they tried to sneak a look or a touch, someone saw and harassed them, so after a while, they quit trying to sneak.

Ryan made the comment that broke the last of their awkwardness: "Oh, come on. As if any of us are surprised by this happening." He gestured back and forth between Rick and Kate. "You've got to be dumb as bricks to think we didn't know you two have something real." For a half-drunk guy, he was damn perceptive.

It was actually kind of liberating to get to touch, smile, whisper, and even lean into each other on the couch without worrying about how it looked. And being that close gave them both wonderfully naughty ideas, oblivious to the other couples seated closer to the screen.

x

x

_A/N: That's not the end. We're only halfway through the movie._

_Please leave me a review. I'm addicted to them. They're like that first step on the beach when you feel the sand underfoot & just smile._


	5. Chapter 5

_**Previously: **__Castle went to Kate's to get her to come over to the loft for the movie. She gave him crap for not inviting her. He told her to decide if they were worth taking a chance on. Martha called Kate his girlfriend, they didn't deny it. The friends all made fun of them and succeeded in getting them to relax & not be weird._

_**5**_

For the second half of the movie, the two established couples focused on the ones they were sitting with and left Rick and Kate to themselves. She curled up to his side, noticing how well she fit against him. He noticed how good it felt to wrap his arm around her without wondering if she was going to break it. She noticed the subtle scent of his soap. He noticed how her hair tickled his neck.

Her hand rested on his knee while their friends were still picking on them, but after they quit, her hand slid up to the inside of his thigh. She felt his thigh muscle flex in response to her touch. He began toying with her hair, slowly exposing the nape of her neck. He leaned close enough that she could feel his warm breath there. He brushed his lips against that most sensitive spot on her neck and felt her sharp inhale.

He knew that Esposito and Ryan were both focused on the movie and their respective ladies, not paying any attention to the couple behind them on the couch, but damn if Rick didn't want them to get up and go home right then. She was letting him touch her. She was touching him. She didn't seem to care who knew. And he didn't want to stop.

He made himself back away from her neck so that their friends wouldn't end up glancing back to find an empty couch and his bedroom door closed. Not that he minded that possibility so much, but knew Kate would end up enduring endless ribbing at work because of it. So far, everything they'd done tonight was only the tiniest bit more than what they always did; it was just more comfortable, less tense.

That soft brush of his lips on Kate's neck left her oblivious to everything else in the room. She knew the movie and her friends were there, she just didn't care. Before last summer, they'd all seen her kissing Demming, at work no less. She broke up with him in the hallway, with people walking by. She was going to admit her feelings for Castle in front of the window to the conference room where the whole team could see… and they all saw the fallout when Gina arrived. She hated when people tried to tell her what she should be thinking or doing when she hadn't made up her mind; but once she knew what she wanted, she didn't care who else knew. Why didn't people get that about her?

She felt it the second his lips touched her skin, and felt when they left it. It wasn't enough. Her fingers clenched on his thigh when he pulled away, silently begging him to do it again. She wanted it. She knew this was coming ever since she'd talked herself into giving them a chance while she wrote her list hours earlier.

His warm breath tickled her ear. "I told you I could make you lose control." Even this close, she could barely hear his whisper. He must not want the others to hear.

She angled her head up to look him in the eye and spoke just as quietly. "You haven't even begun to succeed in that. I know exactly what I'm doing… However, I'm curious… just how easily I could make _you_ lose control." She was so close to his face as she whispered that.

_Oh, it would be so easy._ They both knew it.

She let her nose brush against his and her hand slide across his broad chest. _Damn, he really is so strong._

He really was that easy. He tilted down an inch to close the gap, unsure if she was serious, or if she was playing and would pull away. A smile played at the corners of his eyes and mouth.

Lanie had heard the whispering and turned to check on her friends. She had a quick internal debate on whether to nudge her boyfriend, but he noticed her distraction and followed her gaze. Jenny noticed them both trying to discreetly watch and turned to look, too. After all that had been building that night, she tapped her fiancé to alert him as well.

All four pairs of eyes took in the delicate touches, her hand on his chest, the other on his leg, their mouths only a breath apart. It was way better than the movie, and it definitely had a much stronger "will they/ won't they" tension. They'd joked all night, but they really wanted their friends to go on and jump in.

They just hung there, breathing each other in, unaware that they held the room's attention, lost in each other's eyes. Fingers teasing. This was really happening. They both got closer, meeting in a soft, silent kiss. They didn't want to alert their friends to what they were doing and were too focused on the warmth, taste, feeling, and relief to be aware of the others anyway.

Lanie forced herself to not let out a squeal or even a squeak, and they all just smiled and turned back to the movie.

Kate got a little self-conscious and pulled back just a little to glance at the two oversized chairs. No one was watching. She didn't know why she wanted this moment, this first _real_ kiss to be private, when only a few minutes before, she didn't care if they saw. She pressed her lips to his again, remembering the words from his list - _Forever. Could crush me. Extraordinary. Risk. Forever._ - and decided that it was probably because it was her last first kiss. And it was the first one that really mattered.

_**x**_

_**x**_

_A/N: That was going to be where I stopped, but there's still one more coming._

_Please review. They're addictive like feeling superior in the grocery checkout because you've got cart full of fresh fruits and veggies and lean meats and low-fat dairy, while the mom in front if you is loading up on junk food for her chunky kids. Maybe that's mean, but it makes me feel like I'm doing something right._


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **_To smut, or not to smut, that is the (grammatically incorrect) question. It wouldn't further the plot, and there's plenty of smut out there, so I'm moving along. I know some of you are disappointed, but you'll like what I have for you instead. _

**Previously:**_ Movie night went well. They finally had their last first kiss. Their friends are apparently discreet voyeurs, since they all wanted to watch the kiss._

**6**

They were shocked to discover that they weren't big news. No one at the 12th was surprised in the least. Neither were their families. Nor Rick's poker buddies or Gina or Paula. Nobody. The way they acted at work didn't really change - everyone was already used to there being heat between them. And Rick hadn't done anything bad-boy in over a year, so the paparazzi didn't care, either, except at publicity events where they were supposed to get their picture taken.

They were normal. And it was weird. Happy, just not what they expected. They thought it would be wild and tumultuous like living in a hurricane; but, instead, it felt comfortable and just plain_ right, _like a blue-flag day at the beach.

xox

Many months passed as expected: there were quite a few times that Kate got ticked and pulled Rick into an observation room to yell at him. More than one of those times the fight ended with them doing things _completely_ inappropriate for the workplace. And more than a few of those times, it was a ruse to begin with, just so they could do inappropriate things. Their banter and looks and touches were heated, but in no way compared to the steaminess of their nights.

Then Kate noticed something changing in Rick. Less excitement. More calm pensive looks. At first she wondered if he was about to propose, but after two weeks with no big question, her insecurities began to grow again. After another week of him watching her oddly (which really was something, for him), she was convinced that what had kept her away from him for so long had finally happened: He was bored with her. She'd always known it would eventually happen, but hoped it wouldn't. She really didn't think it would happen this soon. It broke her heart.

He could tell that she knew something was off. He'd tried to hide it. But he couldn't decide how she'd react, so he just watched her, waiting for a tell. He noticed that she was starting to spend more of her nights at her own apartment and quit absently leaving her things at his place.

That was the opposite of what he wanted.

So after a long, crappy day with an awful case finally wrapped up, they were alone in the bullpen. He had to talk to her before she completely pulled away.

"Kate, I want you to move in with me."

She looked at him like the request stung. "No."

He was sure she was reacting to his recent behavior, and he was the only one who could fix it.

So he picked up a piece of paper.

He ripped it in half.

He sat one half in front of her.

"You write Pros. I'll write Cons." _It worked before._

"No." She didn't budge. Her face showed no emotion, which he'd learned meant that she was hurting but didn't want to show it.

He felt like that old barrier was up between them again, and he wasn't about to let it stay there.

He moved in front of her and leaned back against her desk. He pulled her close, so she was standing between his legs, and wrapped his arms around her. He held her in a soft embrace, how he knew she loved to be held. He nuzzled her hair and kissed her neck. "Okay, then," he said softly. "Why don't you tell me why you don't want to live with me. Then I'll tell you why I want you to."

She sagged against him. He could feel her trembling.

He stroked her back. He waited for her.

She shook her head no, then pushed away from him and sat back in her chair.

He moved back to his, watching her carefully, just as he had been for three weeks.

She picked up a pen and began writing. He didn't know if she was writing pros or cons, but it didn't matter. If writing was easier than talking, then she could write whatever she needed to say.

He began writing, too. When he saw a tear roll down her cheek, he wanted to wipe it away so badly, but she needed to see what he was trying to get down on this paper. And she needed to get out whatever she was thinking.

Once both pens were lying still on the desk, he pulled her chair over to in front of his. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her tenderly. Then he put his paper in her hands.

She didn't begin reading. She seemed to be waiting for him. So he picked up her paper, remaining knee to knee with her.

Once he began reading, her words broke his heart. He expected it, that's why he asked for this exercise, but it still crushed him. "He doesn't love me. He did, I know he did. But it didn't last. It couldn't have anyway. He's pulled away from me and I don't know why. He stares blankly at me when he used to constantly undress me with his eyes. He looks at me like I'm a curiosity when he used to look at me like he couldn't wait to touch me. He said he would want forever, and I let myself believe that. But it's barely been a year and he's already gotten bored. He wants me to move in now, but that won't fix whatever's broken. It'll just kill me even more when it all crumbles apart."

Tears flowed down her cheeks. She couldn't have stopped them if she'd wanted to. But alone with him, she knew she didn't need to pretend to be strong.

His list was shaking in her hands. She made herself read it. "I love her more than anything. I told her once I'd want to ask her for forever before she was ready. I don't know what's too fast or too slow, whether she's ready or not. I've found myself lately not watching her with the same eyes. Instead, I've been wondering what kind of dress she'll pick for our wedding, what she'll look like swollen with our child, how she'll look when we're wrinkled and gray. When I'd normally get worked up about something, I just think about how amazing it is to get to wake up with her in my arms some mornings. How I love to watch her sleeping on my shoulder. That I get to be that guy for her. When she's talking to me, I've been distracted by wondering if she's ready for the next step. She's noticed, and she thinks something's wrong. But the only thing wrong is that I chickened out and asked her to move in with me. Because I've been carrying this ring around with me for three weeks, trying to figure out the perfect way to give it to her."

She gasped and sobbed once and blurted out, "Seriously?"

His eyes were wet, but he wasn't letting himself get teary. That wouldn't be romantic at all. "Seriously." He wiped her tears away with his thumbs. The corners of his eyes crinkled with an affectionate smile.

"Kate, I'm sorry that I made you doubt me the last few weeks. I didn't mean to hurt you. And I'll never get bored with you or stop loving you. You are my everything. I didn't want to do this here, since Ryan did. But it's intimate?"

She nodded, tears still running down her face. _Is this really about to happen?_

He hoped this was good for her since the timing seemed right. He pulled the ring box out of his pocket and knelt in front of her.

"Katherine, my love, will you please marry me?"

She sobbed once again, took a deep breath, and smiled. "Yes." She wanted to say more, but didn't want to cry, so she kissed him, fully losing herself in the promise and hope and love it conveyed.

When they finally paused, forehead to forehead, she whispered, "Yes. No pros and cons list necessary."

_x_

_x_

_The end! This wasn't supposed to be a proposal fic, it just ended up that way. They love to mirror situations in the show, so when I thought of this after finishing Ch. 5, thinking it was done, I couldn't resist._

_So, leave a review. I'm addicted to them; they're addictive like watching the blooper reels on Firefly & Serenity._


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